Before All Things

Pictures, pictures

2010-11-14T22:24:00.006-06:00

Here's a picture update on my little sweeties!

Finally Home, and Finally Bloggin"

2010-08-20T22:58:00.006-05:00

So alot has happened since my last blog. As my readers know, I am the world's worst blogger; sometimes I wonder, "Why do I even have a blog?" But here it is, nevertheless. Occasionally I have something to say. And rarely do I have enough time to take the time out to say it.

But we are home!!! We have our sweet and precious Eleni Meseret! And she is just that - sweet and precious and fitting totally in with the family. We came back on July 31st, so we have been home 3 weeks.

I have so more to say about our trip, but I will save that and type out each day, one at a time, so as not to overwhelm myself - I am still processing; and still very tired, so not quite ready to blog about the trip yet.

But Eleni is doing well; acting more and more like a toddler every day. When we first got her, she was like an emotionless lump- just holding on to me for dear life. But sad, not crying sad, emotionless sad, which in a way, at times, felt worse. But day by day, more life comes - and she is FULL of it!! Now in 4 short weeks (well, they have felt long), she laughs, smiles, dances, plays, teases her brothers, tells us "NO!" (as all toddlers do), and so much more. She is so much fun and has such a personality.

She has been very scared of men, including Jason, which has been the hardest thing. She is slowly warming to him, but still is apprehensive around him at times. We make progress, and then she regresses. Two steps forward, one step back each day. Well, some days it feels like 10 steps back, but it is happening. She loves him (or at least tolerates him) when I am no where around. But bring mommy in and it is ALL OVER! She falls apart and his name is mud again. From the reports I am getting, however, this is pretty normal for adopted children. They just are rarely around men in the orphanages, so he is a scary novelty.

So, in general, I am tired, but not too tired, frustrated, but not too frustrated, and full of joy, which trumps it all. In the hard and frustrating moments, I just keep trying to think, okay, what is God teaching us in all this?

And Jason put it well (though I think he forgets his own lesson on a day to day basis when she is rejecting him): It is like God with us. He loves us even when we reject HIM. He perseveres with us. He pursues us over and over, and never gives up. And yes, He is sad when we don't love Him back. But one day, "We love, because He first loved us." (1 Jn. 4:19).

She's Ours!

2010-05-21T11:29:00.004-05:00

She ours! She's finally ours!

We finally passed court last night and got the news early this morning: Eleni is finally legally ours! What a day to remember. We are thrilled and relieved.

This means we should get to go to Ethiopia in July and bring her home!

Two verses on my mind today in thanks to God's faithfulness:

"The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." (1 Thess. 5:24)

"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know the the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations." (Psalm 100)

What else can I say? We are overwhelmed with joy!

More Frustration and Disappointment

2010-05-14T15:07:00.004-05:00

It has been a hard couple of weeks. We were told that our next court date would be last Friday, the 7th, but the 7th came and went and it was never actually our court date.
Then we were told this week that our court date was May 13 (yesterday), so once again we prayed and were hopeful, but the day came and went only to find that this was yet another miscommunication. So our next date is the 13th on the Ethiopian calendar (NOT May 13), which supposedly translates to next Friday, the 21st. But I am skeptical, as we have been told twice now wrong dates.
I have no words of wisdom for myself, or cool verses, other than to say I know God is still in control and I still believe Him.

"It will not be late by a single day."

2010-04-20T19:58:00.004-05:00

Well, we didn't pass. Not totally unexpected, but still, we were hopeful. It is rare to pass through on the first time, but I think everyone probably hopes and prays that "we will be the one; for us it will happen." And it COULD; I mean, with God, all things are possible.

So we will try again. Our approximate next court date is May 10, and this one sounds really hopeful. The judge just needed one document which the orphanage director will get for us.

Her name is Tegist, and she is really amazing.

I met her and her husband last fall when they came here to visit. You can tell they really, really love those children. It is such a good feeling to know that my little girl is being taken care of and truly loved. This is her home right now. Not her forever home or her forever family; that is us, God willing, but still a vital part of her life and who she is and who she will be. So although we still wait, and hard as that is, I am comforted. She has been at this home since she was a month old. This is all she knows, and and she knows love.

I was encouraged today by a message my friend, Cyndi, sent me. She is also an adoptive mother and she is amazing:

"I love the Steven Curtis Chapman song, "When Love Takes You In." My favorite part is this:
'And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be'

"I have LIVED the moment when the "has been" became lost in the "will be." It WILL come for you!! All this time passing now WILL get lost in "what will be" when you are united with your precious little one... and all of this will be a drop in the bucket... like "rain that falls into the sea." It's so hard to believe on this side of it, but it is true.
One of my favorite scriptures during this phase of our adoption was this one:
Habukkuk 2:3 "But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day."

Thank you, Cyndi, for such and encoraging message, and to all my other friends and family who have been SUCH a blessing in your words of encouragment and prayers. A sweet family member of mine even fasted for us!! Wow. I am blessed to be so surrounded by family and friends who support us and love us.

1 1/2 Hours until April 20 in Ethiopia!!!

2010-04-19T14:41:00.002-05:00

And why is that so important, you might ask?

Because it is our first (and hopefully ONLY) court date; the day our little EM could become OURS.

So please, please pray. Midnight in Ethiopia starts at 4 pm today our time. So court will likely be taking place sometime while we are sleeping.

Pray now! Pray if you wake up in the middle of the night! Pray, pray, pray (please, please, please!)

And then I can show you her beautiful little face.

And on top of really wanting to bring her home ASAP, we also really want to pass court now, because in a few weeks, the process changes in Ethiopia, meaning we would have to travel to ET for our court date, come home, wait, and then travel back to ET for a second trip to get her and bring her home. It would be nice to avoid this if possible. On the other hand, I am so excited to see her that I would jump on a plane this afternoon if they told me I had to.

We will let you know as soon as we hear!!

Disney World

2010-04-04T21:27:00.002-05:00

Just some pictures of my cuties in Disney World. It was a blast. We actually went in February, but as you all know, I am a fair-weather blogger, so I am just now getting around to it.

Court Date

2010-04-04T21:13:00.002-05:00

We have our court date! It is set for April 20 - only 2 1/2 weeks away!
"What is a court date?" - you may be asking. This is the day where our "case" goes before a judge in Ethiopia (we don't have to be there) and he decides if little "EM" becomes our daughter legally or not. It is very common in Ethiopia for the initial court date to be postponed or to not "pass" the first time, in which case we would be assigned another court date. But even though it is uncommon to pass the first time, we are praying and hoping for it anyway, and ask that you do too! We cannot wait to have "EM" hope with us! She is just beautiful and I cannot wait to meet her.
Once we pass court, there is some other paperwork that has to be filed to get an Embassy date - and that is the date we have to be in Ethiopia and get to bring her home. Usually one to two months after passing court date. Although, there are suddenly some changes in the processing of that particular paperwork (urgh), that could make the wait between court date and embassy date longer.
We are filling the time with decorating her room - pink and black ballet theme. Oh yes, I am going totally girly. And of course she will probably end up being a total tom-boy with two big brothers! But for now, pink, pink, pink ( and purple of course).

Drum Roll, Please...

2010-03-11T15:11:00.002-06:00

It's here! Finally here! Our referral! And I am on cloud nine. We have been matched with a beautiful little 18 month old girl. I am already in love with her. Can we go get her, now? Please?

I cannot share any pictures online yet, since she is not "legally" ours yet, but I will as soon as we pass court. Which should take 2 or 3 months. So we are still looking at 3-6 months before we can go bring her home, but I am just so thrilled to finally see her precious face and know her beautiful name.

Just last week I was in tears and so tired of waiting for our referral... and now, here she is. I really don't know what else to say except, Thank you Lord Jesus. You make all things beautiful in your time.

And another amazing thing is that in my husband's words, "She looks like a Medina!" And you know, she does! I really think she and my youngest son, Jeremiah quite possibly look more alike than my two biological sons! Only God could orchestrate that - from all the way around the world!

Albertine

2009-12-21T22:02:00.004-06:00

Check out this song I just discovered by Brooke Fraser, of Hillsong United. It's beautiful. It's called "Albertine", after a child she met when visiting Rwanda.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGx-xU6TnU8

I've Decided I Love Her

2009-12-12T22:02:00.002-06:00

Here is such a sweet story. But to understand the fullness of its sweetness, you have to first understand that my son, Gavin, has not been too excited about the idea of adopting a "sister" for him. Oh, from time to time when we talk about what toys she might like, he gets a little excited, but for the most part he stays a bit weary. And really, this is normal for him; it fits his personality, so it doesn't worry me too much. He, in general, in a very cautious little boy and resitant to change and new people.

Last night, he was drawing pictures. One for each person in our family and bringing them one by one to me to show me and then displaying them around the house. He then brought one to me on pink paper and said, "And this one is for our sister... because I've decided I love her." And then he proceeded back to the table to draw her more, "because she doesn't have much stuff."

I couldn't be prouder of my little firstborn sweetheart. Thank you, Lord.

Still Waiting, but staying connected

2009-11-03T21:18:00.007-06:00

Well, I am finally updating my blog - it's only been about 3 months, and I just accidentally erased two paragraphs, so I am not getting off to a very good start.

Anyway, we are still waiting - no news at all. Which is why I havent updated my blog lately - nothing exciting to report. Well, actually my two little boys are always exciting. I am potty training Jeremiah. Yesterday he decided to poop on the stairs. So that was exciting. Today, during dinner, they repeated "stinky diaper" over and over and laughed hystarically each and every time, for about 20 minutes. So when I say "nothing exciting," that is technically not true - it always exciting around here.

But I am staying connected: I have cooked two Ethiopian meals in the past couple months and am very proud of myself, if I am allowed to be proud of myself. Thankfully my friend Cyndi (read her blog - it's awesome) has a pretty easy one on her website for Spicy Fish Stew. Yum. That was a week ago and my house still smells like Ethiopia -well Ethiopian spice anyway. The picture above is a meat and veggie dish- Alicha Yetakilit Wet Besiga.

Here is another great picture of my two very exciting and adorable sons. Okay, not here, at the top: I cannot figure out how to get the picture HERE. Can someone please comment and tell me how to get pictures where I want them?

By the way...

2009-08-31T21:55:00.002-05:00

By the way, for those interested, our dossier is in Washington D.C. right now visiting the Secretary of State (that's right - Ms. Hilary Clinton herself - or someone representing her anyway), and the Ethiopian Embassy.

Waiting, Waiting, Waiting...

2009-08-31T21:34:00.004-05:00

Waiting, waiting, waiting...

Can I just say I am getting tired of waiting? I want my child... or children. And I really want to know just that - is it a child or children? When I pray for her/ them, I want to pray specifically. I am tired of saying, "Lord protect my daughter, or my two daughters, or my daughter and son..." Waiting is hard!! Let's see, its been 9 mos. since we started the process ... and I am used to getting my child after 9 months - I guess I have been spoiled. Well, technically, its been longer than that, because we started adopting from another country a year before we started Ethiopia, and then it fell through as quickly as it started, and then we prayed for a year. So really its been more like a year and a half since I wanted this more than anything.

So tonight I am reminded of something I learned recently in my Beth Moore study on Esther. I wrote down the following:
"If God tells us to wait - we have to trust Him that His will is working - things in the heavens are coming in line with His will. If we wait on the Lord, we will renew our strength (Isaiah 40:31). If we are waiting on the person/event; our strength will be depleted."

Amen... but it's still hard.

He holds them close to His heart

2009-06-29T16:49:00.004-05:00

Last night my youngest son woke up terrified. He was screaming and trembling and calling my name. I tore up the stairs as fast as I possibly could, not because I thought he was in any real danger, but because I didn't want him to be scared for one moment longer than necessary. I wanted to hold him and tell him I was there and that everything was okay. He calmed down fairly quickly, but was still "too scared" to go back to bed right away. As I was holding him, I was brought to tears; I began to think of my child in Ethiopia. Where is she? What is she doing? Is she scared? Does she have someone to hold her and tell her everything is okay? And it hurts to not know what she is going through. I don't even know her yet, but I love her and want to comfort her. I don't know her yet, but thankfully, God does.
And in moments like those, I don' just think of my own, but of all orphans, who have no one to comfort them when they need it so much. And I can barely stand it. I cannot handle the thought of all those precious children out there, so in need of someone to love them. And in those moments, when I feel overwhelmed, all I can do is give it to the Lord, because somehow, even if I don't understand it, He has them.
"O LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear to vindicate the orphan and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth will no longer cause terror" (Psalm 10:17-18).

So here's our story

2009-05-16T13:57:00.003-05:00

So many people want to know why we decided to adopt. So here it is:
For me, it began back in High School - that is when God first planted the "adoption seed", so to speak, inside of me. My youth group visited an orphanage in Honduras and I was never the same. If I could have adopted one of those children at the age of 15, I probably would have. I still pray for two kids in particular - a 9 year old boy named Juan, and a little girl, I don't remember her name - but I have her picture. Strange to think that these kids really weren't much younger than I was at the time and are all grown up now, and by God's grace, hopefully thriving despite their difficult young lives.
When my husband, Jason, and I began discussing marriage, we talked that one day, maybe adoption would be part of our lives together. Many years went by, and two biological children were born, before these desires began to resurface. And it was like God just hit me with it all at once - like, "OK - here it is.. time to start thinking about this again!" And I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was ready to begin the adoption process. Problem was, my husband wasn't. That was so hard for me - why would God lay something SO heavily on my heart and not on his? So for over a year I battled those feelings of confusion and desperate desire to begin adopting - and I did a lot of trying to convince my husband that the time was right. But for whatever reason, it wasn't. Then last December, Jason comes home from work and tells me he has something to tell me. "I think it's time to begin." Wow! and hoorah! But strangely, I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be - I think I was thinking he would change his mind; it had happened before. And then I got scared - yikes- did I really want this afterall? I was fearful - and we had decided on Ethiopia - yikes again - could we really handle black children? But God is good, and over time, those fears have disappeared and He constantly shows us his goodness and faithfulness. The process is moving along, Jason and I are unified, and funds are coming in. Wow, there is so much more to tell, and so many details I have left out (I'll gladly share any of them). But the fact of the matter is there are 145 million orphans in the world who are susceptible to all sorts of horrifics that I won't go in to. And our hearts and our home have room to spare.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

2009-04-27T21:44:00.004-05:00

Well I have been waiting for this day to start a blog, and today is the day. Today our homestudy to adopt a child from Ethiopia was approved. And so now I finally feel like it is official. And therefore, the blog begins. This has been such a process for me already - primarily emotional at this point - more on that later, but the blogs I have read during this time have been such a blessing to me, that I too want to share our journey and pray that it will be a blessing and inspiration to those who read it. So as I begin, simply, I ask Lord, that you will let my written words bring you glory and that I may bless others in the ways they have blessed me. "He is before all things, and in Him, all things hold together."