Pictures, pictures

Here's a picture update on my little sweeties!

Finally Home, and Finally Bloggin"

So alot has happened since my last blog. As my readers know, I am the world's worst blogger; sometimes I wonder, "Why do I even have a blog?" But here it is, nevertheless. Occasionally I have something to say. And rarely do I have enough time to take the time out to say it.

But we are home!!! We have our sweet and precious Eleni Meseret! And she is just that - sweet and precious and fitting totally in with the family. We came back on July 31st, so we have been home 3 weeks.

I have so more to say about our trip, but I will save that and type out each day, one at a time, so as not to overwhelm myself - I am still processing; and still very tired, so not quite ready to blog about the trip yet.

But Eleni is doing well; acting more and more like a toddler every day. When we first got her, she was like an emotionless lump- just holding on to me for dear life. But sad, not crying sad, emotionless sad, which in a way, at times, felt worse. But day by day, more life comes - and she is FULL of it!! Now in 4 short weeks (well, they have felt long), she laughs, smiles, dances, plays, teases her brothers, tells us "NO!" (as all toddlers do), and so much more. She is so much fun and has such a personality.

She has been very scared of men, including Jason, which has been the hardest thing. She is slowly warming to him, but still is apprehensive around him at times. We make progress, and then she regresses. Two steps forward, one step back each day. Well, some days it feels like 10 steps back, but it is happening. She loves him (or at least tolerates him) when I am no where around. But bring mommy in and it is ALL OVER! She falls apart and his name is mud again. From the reports I am getting, however, this is pretty normal for adopted children. They just are rarely around men in the orphanages, so he is a scary novelty.

So, in general, I am tired, but not too tired, frustrated, but not too frustrated, and full of joy, which trumps it all. In the hard and frustrating moments, I just keep trying to think, okay, what is God teaching us in all this?

And Jason put it well (though I think he forgets his own lesson on a day to day basis when she is rejecting him): It is like God with us. He loves us even when we reject HIM. He perseveres with us. He pursues us over and over, and never gives up. And yes, He is sad when we don't love Him back. But one day, "We love, because He first loved us." (1 Jn. 4:19).

She's Ours!

She ours! She's finally ours!

We finally passed court last night and got the news early this morning: Eleni is finally legally ours! What a day to remember. We are thrilled and relieved.

This means we should get to go to Ethiopia in July and bring her home!

Two verses on my mind today in thanks to God's faithfulness:

"The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." (1 Thess. 5:24)

"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know the the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations." (Psalm 100)

What else can I say? We are overwhelmed with joy!

More Frustration and Disappointment

It has been a hard couple of weeks. We were told that our next court date would be last Friday, the 7th, but the 7th came and went and it was never actually our court date.
Then we were told this week that our court date was May 13 (yesterday), so once again we prayed and were hopeful, but the day came and went only to find that this was yet another miscommunication. So our next date is the 13th on the Ethiopian calendar (NOT May 13), which supposedly translates to next Friday, the 21st. But I am skeptical, as we have been told twice now wrong dates.
I have no words of wisdom for myself, or cool verses, other than to say I know God is still in control and I still believe Him.

"It will not be late by a single day."

Well, we didn't pass. Not totally unexpected, but still, we were hopeful. It is rare to pass through on the first time, but I think everyone probably hopes and prays that "we will be the one; for us it will happen." And it COULD; I mean, with God, all things are possible.

So we will try again. Our approximate next court date is May 10, and this one sounds really hopeful. The judge just needed one document which the orphanage director will get for us.

Her name is Tegist, and she is really amazing.

I met her and her husband last fall when they came here to visit. You can tell they really, really love those children. It is such a good feeling to know that my little girl is being taken care of and truly loved. This is her home right now. Not her forever home or her forever family; that is us, God willing, but still a vital part of her life and who she is and who she will be. So although we still wait, and hard as that is, I am comforted. She has been at this home since she was a month old. This is all she knows, and and she knows love.


I was encouraged today by a message my friend, Cyndi, sent me. She is also an adoptive mother and she is amazing:

"I love the Steven Curtis Chapman song, "When Love Takes You In." My favorite part is this:
'And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be'

"I have LIVED the moment when the "has been" became lost in the "will be." It WILL come for you!! All this time passing now WILL get lost in "what will be" when you are united with your precious little one... and all of this will be a drop in the bucket... like "rain that falls into the sea." It's so hard to believe on this side of it, but it is true.
One of my favorite scriptures during this phase of our adoption was this one:
Habukkuk 2:3 "But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day."

Thank you, Cyndi, for such and encoraging message, and to all my other friends and family who have been SUCH a blessing in your words of encouragment and prayers. A sweet family member of mine even fasted for us!! Wow. I am blessed to be so surrounded by family and friends who support us and love us.

I've Decided I Love Her

Here is such a sweet story. But to understand the fullness of its sweetness, you have to first understand that my son, Gavin, has not been too excited about the idea of adopting a "sister" for him. Oh, from time to time when we talk about what toys she might like, he gets a little excited, but for the most part he stays a bit weary. And really, this is normal for him; it fits his personality, so it doesn't worry me too much. He, in general, in a very cautious little boy and resitant to change and new people.

Last night, he was drawing pictures. One for each person in our family and bringing them one by one to me to show me and then displaying them around the house. He then brought one to me on pink paper and said, "And this one is for our sister... because I've decided I love her." And then he proceeded back to the table to draw her more, "because she doesn't have much stuff."

I couldn't be prouder of my little firstborn sweetheart. Thank you, Lord.

He holds them close to His heart

Last night my youngest son woke up terrified. He was screaming and trembling and calling my name. I tore up the stairs as fast as I possibly could, not because I thought he was in any real danger, but because I didn't want him to be scared for one moment longer than necessary. I wanted to hold him and tell him I was there and that everything was okay. He calmed down fairly quickly, but was still "too scared" to go back to bed right away. As I was holding him, I was brought to tears; I began to think of my child in Ethiopia. Where is she? What is she doing? Is she scared? Does she have someone to hold her and tell her everything is okay? And it hurts to not know what she is going through. I don't even know her yet, but I love her and want to comfort her. I don't know her yet, but thankfully, God does.
And in moments like those, I don' just think of my own, but of all orphans, who have no one to comfort them when they need it so much. And I can barely stand it. I cannot handle the thought of all those precious children out there, so in need of someone to love them. And in those moments, when I feel overwhelmed, all I can do is give it to the Lord, because somehow, even if I don't understand it, He has them.
"O LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear to vindicate the orphan and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth will no longer cause terror" (Psalm 10:17-18).

So here's our story

So many people want to know why we decided to adopt. So here it is:
For me, it began back in High School - that is when God first planted the "adoption seed", so to speak, inside of me. My youth group visited an orphanage in Honduras and I was never the same. If I could have adopted one of those children at the age of 15, I probably would have. I still pray for two kids in particular - a 9 year old boy named Juan, and a little girl, I don't remember her name - but I have her picture. Strange to think that these kids really weren't much younger than I was at the time and are all grown up now, and by God's grace, hopefully thriving despite their difficult young lives.
When my husband, Jason, and I began discussing marriage, we talked that one day, maybe adoption would be part of our lives together. Many years went by, and two biological children were born, before these desires began to resurface. And it was like God just hit me with it all at once - like, "OK - here it is.. time to start thinking about this again!" And I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was ready to begin the adoption process. Problem was, my husband wasn't. That was so hard for me - why would God lay something SO heavily on my heart and not on his? So for over a year I battled those feelings of confusion and desperate desire to begin adopting - and I did a lot of trying to convince my husband that the time was right. But for whatever reason, it wasn't. Then last December, Jason comes home from work and tells me he has something to tell me. "I think it's time to begin." Wow! and hoorah! But strangely, I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be - I think I was thinking he would change his mind; it had happened before. And then I got scared - yikes- did I really want this afterall? I was fearful - and we had decided on Ethiopia - yikes again - could we really handle black children? But God is good, and over time, those fears have disappeared and He constantly shows us his goodness and faithfulness. The process is moving along, Jason and I are unified, and funds are coming in. Wow, there is so much more to tell, and so many details I have left out (I'll gladly share any of them). But the fact of the matter is there are 145 million orphans in the world who are susceptible to all sorts of horrifics that I won't go in to. And our hearts and our home have room to spare.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." James 1:27

Well I have been waiting for this day to start a blog, and today is the day. Today our homestudy to adopt a child from Ethiopia was approved. And so now I finally feel like it is official. And therefore, the blog begins. This has been such a process for me already - primarily emotional at this point - more on that later, but the blogs I have read during this time have been such a blessing to me, that I too want to share our journey and pray that it will be a blessing and inspiration to those who read it. So as I begin, simply, I ask Lord, that you will let my written words bring you glory and that I may bless others in the ways they have blessed me. "He is before all things, and in Him, all things hold together."